oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He kissed a someone with a penis
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
