So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
