The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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