i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
