Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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