just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This is my gift to your gina
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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