Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
