Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she peed on how many people?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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