Sponge bath it is.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
