Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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