she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
