I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
