someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
