whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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