I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
