I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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