Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
