I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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