So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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