she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
