I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
