he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
