i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
