I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
