I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
