she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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