Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just cut my nipple shaving
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
