And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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