if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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