Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
