oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
