my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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