you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
