in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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