perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
