1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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