That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
