Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
