I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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