is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
