Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
