I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
