just tell him i said nine months
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
