if you like me you must not know who I am
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
