There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
