how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
