I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
