Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
