Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Damn victory sex feels great
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
