that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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