i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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